Tulsa Time
I am what I like to call a “pack-crastinator.” Procrastination aside, I’m really looking forward to this trip. I’m heading to Tulsa, Oklahoma. We have a new NYU Tulsa campus there and I will be joining a fascinating group of scholars, artists, activists, educators, and entrepreneurs for a symposium.
Knicks in Five
It’s been a wild time in New York City. This week, I have fist bumped strangers as we passed on the sidewalk, had prolonged eye contact with random dudes on the subway, and had deep, meaning of life conversations with multiple delivery people.
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The 2025 Joy Issue
Welcome to the 2025 Joy Issue. Some might ask "even now"? I say, "especially now." In fact, we rushed this issue - our most popular every year - to get it out the door a little early this month.
The Semi-Annual New Book Issue
Full disclosure. After finishing a fantastic book on audiobook or e-book, I often buy the hard copy. Not to re-read it. Just to have it. Just to see it. Just to feel it. Just to keep it.
In Loving Memory of Joe McNeil
This month's newsletter is a departure from our usual blend of serious and funny, science and zeitgeist, societal and personal, pop culture-centric and puppy-centric. On September 4, 2025, my husband and I recently lost a dear friend, Joe McNeil.
Hamilton's 10th Anniversary
I am not much of a singer. That said, cue a singalong and I'm your girl. Sign me up. The perfect example: this summer's 10th anniversary celebrations of the Broadway smash, Hamilton.
Summer Reading
Cocoa Bean the Wonder Puppy is over it with the rain. Bring on the summer with its green grass, blue skies, and best of all, beach reads. Speaking of beach reads, what does that even mean? Some folks mean "mindless, frothy reading" but honestly, I like that any time of year. And, I like "think-y" reading on the beach too.
I Ran A Marathon
For six months in 1999, I trained for a marathon with a close friend from college. Politically, he favored the right and I favored the left. We made a deal: miss a training run and you had to donate to the other party during a heated Presidential campaign.
My "Conversation" with Rebecca Solnit
I am channel surfing for hope these days. Last week, I dug out a book my wonderful longtime book editor, Stephanie Hitchcock, recommended years ago when we first started working together on my first book, The Person You Mean To Be. That book is Hope in the Dark, a compact little volume by Rebecca Solnit. I don't know Solnit but I tried to imagine me awkwardly nudging her to say something, well, hopeful. With a little help from ChatGPT, here is scripted dialogue from a crossover episode featuring me and Solnit.
What's Giving Me Joy Right Now
It's time for the most popular Dear Good People issue of the year, packed with end-of-year pick-me-ups to help us keep fighting the good-ish fight. Long time readers loved the 2021, 2022, and 2023 Joy Issues! The 2024 JOY ISSUE is back (with some fan favorites from past issues sprinkled in). ENJOY.
27 New Books
Here we are in the next semi-annual Dear Good People book issue and the piles just keep growing! I've got plenty of new book releases to tell you about, many by or recommended by my fellow behavioral scientists or my amazing literary agent, Leila Campoli. Have I read them all? Oh gosh, hardly. Will I read them all? Doubtful! Still, I love celebrating and sharing what's new.
4 Things I Learned in the Past Year
I worked really hard this past year but in a different, less structured way than I am used to. I stretched myself and I am so excited about my learning and growth. Here are some highlights of my 2023-2024 sabbatical, including many of the experts, courses, and video tutorials that I have been learning from.
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I Get High Every Morning
When life is bigger, patterns are clearer. The big picture view from the roof reveals a lot about racial disparities. The roof offers a three dimensional systemic view that the graphs and tables of my academic ivory tower do not. Here is what I can see from there.
I Bet I Have More Of These Than You Do
Since I was a teenager, I have loved magazines and newspapers. I still get my New York Times in print edition and subscribe to more print magazines that I can read each week. And, when I travel, local magazines and newspapers are still my favorite souvenir and I am a sucker for free magazines in airport lounges (bewarned, they are not as light as they appear).
I'm Not Crying, You're Crying
When I was a kid and even as a young adult, I was a crier. Happy tears when I won at dodgeball. Sad tears when I was picked last in gym class (hello, did they not see my dodgeball prowess?). Sentimental tears when I watched Coca Cola commercials.
What I'm Reading
If a comfy living room with snacks/tea/wine had a baby with an amazing bookstore, it would be a magical place called Bibliotheque. Which is why Bibliotheque is my new favorite place in New York City. Plus, it gives me an absurd amount of joy that something that has gone tik-tok viral is authentically aligned with my book geek / inner couch potato self. Finally!
What Babies Teach Us About Psychological Safety in Meetings
Psychological safety is the belief that you can take the risks of learning from failure or risking failure. Like, admitting a mistake, asking a question when you are confused, expressing a different perspective, trying something new, or making a suggestion. These are the kinds of behaviors that require an inclusive culture. Those kind of interpersonal risks are scary in many groups and organizations. And they don't happen in junk drawer meetings. They require more intentional choices.
My Online Dating Picture
Maybe sparkles are underrated? Maybe sparkles are an act of courage, a defiant long odds bet that something can shine through the darkness of today's world. Which is all to say, it's time for the most popular Dear Good People issue of the year, packed with end-of-year pick-me-ups to help us keep fighting the good-ish fight. Long time readers loved the December 2021 Joy Issue and the December 2022 Pep Talk Issue. Welcome to the December 2023 SPARKLE Issue. Enjoy the Spirit, Possibility, Awe, Rejoicing, "Kourage," Laughter, and Elevation of these eight sparkly moments!
Movie Recommendation
My first substantive encounter with the word "intersex" came up when I had the pleasure of meeting accomplished journalist turned documentary filmmaker Julie Cohen at a social gathering. Cohen co-directed the Academy Award nominated film RBG. Cohen described her latest film, EVERY BODY, about the experiences of intersex people.
Embarrassing Your Kid 101
Our Class of 2023 daughter applied to college just months before the June 29, 2023 Supreme Court ruling outlawed race-conscious college admissions while our Class of 2024 daughter is applying just months after. While I am FAR from an expert, here is what I currently do (and do not) understand about the impact of the Supreme Court ruling on affirmative action.