May 22, 2022
On Tuesday, we say goodbye to the Pearsons as This is Us airs its series finale, the long-anticipated close to the show’s six year arc. My husband and I have watched and loved the show since the beginning. It is the only TV show that is noted in our family calendar. Now, as it ends, I realize that it was not only a great show, but also the kind of show that gives us practice at some key inclusion skills. (I promise: no spoilers ahead and no need to have ever watched/liked the show).
Evidence-based. Action-oriented. Zeitgeisty.
More joyful than you are expecting. And free!
A monthly newsletter with tips on how to be the good-ish, growth-y person you mean to be.
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16 Things I Teach My Students→
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April 30, 2022
I hope my students are the kinds of bosses that both deliver results and change lives for the better, the bosses you would walk through fire for. Those kind of bosses have something in common. Great bosses are inclusive. If you are not inclusive, you are not a boss. You may be good, in certain situations, with certain people. But the greats are not limited to certain situations and certain people.
11 (Fun, Easy) Ways to Tell Hollywood that Diversity Is a Safe Bet→
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March 27, 2022
We can do far more than we think to shape decision makers in charge of what to greenlight, where to spend marketing dollars, how much to budget, when to stick with a struggling or higher-risk project, and whose work gets publicity and press. We can influence what is seen as mainstream and a safe bet. We just need some inside info on how ... and here it is.
4 Things I Learned from My Wardrobe Intervention→
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February 27, 2022
We often do not see how the past and present relate because many of us have learned a whitewashed version of our history. The narratives we learned left us in a rut of our own, making it difficult to move forward. Just like my wardrobe, our country is in need of a true, intentional, authentic remix — what I call a “Knowledge Remix.”
We All Need a Little Wordle in Our Lives→
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January 30, 2022
Okay, folks, I interrupt today’s Wordle to bring you this month’s tips on how to be a more inclusive person. Whether you are a Wordle fan or not, stick with me for this one.
Need a Pep Talk? Me Too.→
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December 19, 2021
When I am running on empty, I turn to a good pep talk. The science of pep talks is known as motivating language theory and highlights three important elements. A good pep talk does some or all of the following:
Provides direction on what needs to be done
Offers empathy for the challenges we face, and
Makes meaning out of the situation and its importance.
So, in that spirit, here are some of my favorite pep talks.
Must-See TV→
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November 21, 2021
Documentaries today are entertaining, educational, and best of all, highly accessible, largely fueled by the rise of streaming platforms. Storytellers and the stories they are telling are more diverse than ever. Some say this is the golden age of “docu-mania.” I don't watch as much TV as I used to, but I still love it. And, I no longer view being entertained versus educated as mutually exclusive; I love a good documentary. Many are in the Dear Good People spirit. Here are five recent documentaries I loved.
Project Declutter→
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October 31, 2021
Did I mention we are downsizing from a larger suburban house to a smaller city apartment? Needless to say, I have been summoning all of the decluttering gods. Well, the universe delivered. Ileana Ferreras is a life coach who specializes in “helping people tap into their internal and external resources in areas of life where they want breakthroughs.” While I am not lucky enough to be her client, it is because I have the good fortune of calling her friend (and I refer friends to her as clients). While she is not a decluttering expert or organizer, Ileana understands how our stuff can be an obstacle. She felt my angst and offered counsel in what I call “Ileana-isms.”
What do Ted Lasso and Anita Hill Have in Common?→
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September 26, 2021
At the same time that my husband and I were smiling our way through Ted Lasso Season 1, I was also reading an advance copy of Anita Hill’s excellent new book, Believing: Our Thirty-Year Journey to End Gender Violence, to be released on Tuesday. That is how a sometimes silly-ish sitcom created by Hollywood comedians and a serious book written by an iconic activist / law professor became strange brainfellows in my mind this month. So, my dear good people, here are four things that Coach Ted Lasso and Professor Anita Hill have in common.
7 New Books You May Not Have Heard Of ... Yet→
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August 29, 2021
Since I have heard about or screened some new releases, I wanted to share a few with you. Some are getting a lot of buzz, but I bet you have not heard of all on this list. Here are 7 new non-fiction books about diversity, inclusion, and bias (or adjacent topics), all relevant to the scope of the Dear Good People newsletter.
What I Pray For →
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July 31, 2021
A worried parent once confided in me, “I pray that my son is not different from the other kids.” I was genuinely confused. Mind you, I pray daily for my children. I light incense from India, where my family is from. I chant Hindu and Sikh hymns. I pray for my children’s health, joy, wisdom, character, resilience, and peace of mind ... not to mention immunity from heartbreak, immortal pets, indefinite teenage metabolism, and improved capacity to put dishes in the dishwasher. It had never occurred to me to pray for them to not be different.
Five Ways You Should NOT Honor Juneteenth→
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June 18, 2021
With so many obscure, commercial, or fake holidays, it is hard to know when and how to truly pause and commemorate a holiday of collective import. Which is why I want to talk about our newest federal holiday, Juneteenth (June 19). Here is the who, what, where, when, why, and most importantly, how (not to celebrate) you need to know.
What Did I Miss?→
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May 23, 2021
Dear Good People has grown into something far beyond what I originally expected. Together, we are trying to be good-ish people always asking ourselves, “What did I miss?” We are striving to be the people we mean to be (or, the people our pets think we are). This Tuesday, we will commemorate the anniversary of George Floyd’s death. I will be holding his family — especially his young daughter — in my prayers. As they commemorate his passing, I am using this moment to reflect on what I have learned and done over the past year, and to commit to learning more and doing more in the future.
So Many Books, So Little Time (and Willpower)→
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April 25, 2021
Books have always played an important role in the work of anti-racism and anti-bias. Non-fiction deepens our knowledge and broadens our perspectives. Fiction focused on character development unlocks the inner lives and outer circumstances of others, deepening our empathy. Fighting bias in and around us requires that we be lifelong learners. While reading does not replace action, it can inform and inspire action, which is why I often recommend books in this newsletter.
Celebrity Pop Quiz→
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March 28, 2021
Professors Thierry Devos and Mahzarin Banaji used images similar to these in their “American = White” studies. Study participants categorized celebrities as American or Foreign at rapid speed. Even when the Asian-Americans were n-th generation-U.S. citizens and the White-Europeans were not, an “American = White” implicit association emerged. Notably, this is not how study participants responded when given time to formulate an explicit, more deliberative response. Dr. Banaji often refers to our implicit associations as the thumbprints of the culture around us. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about that American = White fingerprint, in light of the spike in bias, hate, and violence against the Asian-American and Pacific Islander (AAPI, often referred to as Asian-American) communities during the pandemic.
I Still Have My First Laptop From 1992→
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February 28, 2021
Given that I still have my Macintosh Powerbook 170, I giggled when I read this line in Adam Grant’s excellent new bestseller, Think Again. He writes, “We laugh at people who still use Windows 95, yet we still cling to opinions that we formed in 1995.” Well, at least I am no longer using that laptop. But ... it is still gathering dust and taking up space just a few feet from my desk because … nostalgia? (Query: does anyone have Marie Kondo’s cell?). The point in Think Again was that often our ideas need to be upgraded, just like our technology. As I read the book, my mind wandered to the Me Too Movement, founded by Tarana Burke. This movement helped many of us realize that we have allowed antiquated, wrongheaded ideas about sexual assault and rape to take up mental space and gather dust.
Things That Make You Say ... Hmmm→
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January 31, 2021
What if our pets ran the world? Would cuddling be the new 9-5? Would belly rubs be the standard office greeting? Would treats be the currency of exchange? These what-if “mental gymnastics” are known as thought experiments. Philosophers and physicists use thought experiments when a question cannot be answered through an actual experiment in the real world. Instead, thought experiments are “devices of the imagination” which tap into our intuitive ability to play out “make-believes” in our minds.
Puppies, Procrastination, and Possibilities→
/December 27, 2020
I procrastinated launching this newsletter for over a year. People I respect in the publishing world kept urging me to do it because book readers like to hear from authors between books. Newsletters allow for a more intimate author/reader relationship, they explained. Especially given the work I do on diversity, inclusion, racism, and unconscious biases, it was important to speak in and about today’s times. The work of being a teacher, author, and scholar is no longer solely about classrooms, books, and journal articles.
No Justice, No Joy?→
/November 29, 2020
My mother has long observed that I “think too much.” A friend once said that I can suck the joy out of any experience. My husband occasionally recalls “vacation Dolly” like she was a carefree stranger we once met far from home. None of them are wrong. No doubt, I am also a friendly, positive person who loves to laugh. It’s just that my default mode is intensity. I’ve always been like this, since I was this kid with the rockin’ hairdo who asked for file cabinets in school colors for her 12th birthday (still have them).
Meet Cocoa Bean, Our New Puppy!→
/October 25, 2020
In this month’s newsletter, I offer a simple, powerful tool for staying engaged in the tough issues and hard work related to being good-ish, even (especially!) when we feel overwhelmed. The tool I am sharing is a widely-used productivity method called the Pomodoro Method. I want to convince you that science shows that it is as effective as a puppy in lowering your blood pressure and more effective than a puppy at actually getting things done (note: I made up this puppy vs pomo study finding, but someone should prove me wrong).