Project Declutter
Did I mention we are downsizing from a larger suburban house to a smaller city apartment? Needless to say, I have been summoning all of the decluttering gods. Well, the universe delivered. Ileana Ferreras is a life coach who specializes in "helping people tap into their internal and external resources in areas of life where they want breakthroughs." While I am not lucky enough to be her client, it is because I have the good fortune of calling her friend. While she is not a decluttering expert or organizer, Ileana understands how our stuff can be an obstacle. She felt my angst and offered counsel in what I call "Ileana-isms."
What do Ted Lasso and Anita Hill Have in Common?
At the same time that my husband and I were smiling our way through Ted Lasso Season 1, I was also reading an advance copy of Anita Hill's excellent new book, Believing: Our Thirty-Year Journey to End Gender Violence, to be released on Tuesday. That is how a sometimes silly-ish sitcom created by Hollywood comedians and a serious book written by an iconic activist / law professor became strange brainfellows in my mind this month. So, my dear good people, here are four things that Coach Ted Lasso and Professor Anita Hill have in common.
7 New Books You May Not Have Heard Of ... Yet
Since I have heard about or screened some new releases, I wanted to share a few with you. Some are getting a lot of buzz, but I bet you have not heard of all on this list. Here are 7 new non-fiction books about diversity, inclusion, and bias (or adjacent topics), all relevant to the scope of the Dear Good People newsletter.
What I Pray For
A worried parent once confided in me, "I pray that my son is not different from the other kids." I was genuinely confused. Mind you, I pray daily for my children. I light incense from India, where my family is from. I chant Hindu and Sikh hymns. I pray for my children's health, joy, wisdom, character, resilience, and peace of mind not to mention immunity from heartbreak, immortal pets, indefinite teenage metabolism, and improved capacity to put dishes in the dishwasher. It had never occurred to me to pray for them to not be different.
Five Ways You Should NOT Honor Juneteenth (2021)
With so many obscure, commercial, or fake holidays, it is hard to know when and how to truly pause and commemorate a holiday of collective import. Which is why I want to talk about our newest federal holiday, Juneteenth (June 19). Here is the who, what, where, when, why, and most importantly, how (not to celebrate) you need to know.
What Did I Miss?
Dear Good People has grown into something far beyond what I originally expected. Together, we are trying to be good-ish people always asking ourselves, "What did I miss?" We are striving to be the people we mean to be (or, the people our pets think we are). This Tuesday, we will commemorate the anniversary of George Floyd's death. I will be holding his family especially his young daughter in my prayers. As they commemorate his passing, I am using this moment to reflect on what I have learned and done over the past year, and to commit to learning more and doing more in the future.
So Many Books, So Little Time (and Willpower)
Books have always played an important role in the work of anti-racism and anti-bias. Non-fiction deepens our knowledge and broadens our perspectives. Fiction focused on character development unlocks the inner lives and outer circumstances of others, deepening our empathy. Fighting bias in and around us requires that we be lifelong learners. While reading does not replace action, it can inform and inspire action, which is why I often recommend books in this newsletter.
Celebrity Pop Quiz
Professors Thierry Devos and Mahzarin Banaji used images similar to these in their "American = White" studies. Study participants categorized celebrities as American or Foreign at rapid speed. Even when the Asian-Americans were n-th generation-U.S. citizens and the White-Europeans were not, an "American = White" implicit association emerged. Dr. Banaji often refers to our implicit associations as the thumbprints of the culture around us. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about that American = White fingerprint, in light of the spike in bias, hate, and violence against the Asian-American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) communities during the pandemic.
I Still Have My First Laptop From 1992
Given that I still have my Macintosh Powerbook 170, I giggled when I read this line in Adam Grant's excellent new bestseller, Think Again. He writes, "We laugh at people who still use Windows 95, yet we still cling to opinions that we formed in 1995." Well, at least I am no longer using that laptop. But it is still gathering dust and taking up space just a few feet from my desk because nostalgia? The point in Think Again was that often our ideas need to be upgraded, just like our technology. As I read the book, my mind wandered to the Me Too Movement, founded by Tarana Burke.
Things That Make You Say ... Hmmm
What if our pets ran the world? Would cuddling be the new 9-5? Would belly rubs be the standard office greeting? Would treats be the currency of exchange? These what-if "mental gymnastics" are known as thought experiments. Philosophers and physicists use thought experiments when a question cannot be answered through an actual experiment in the real world. Instead, thought experiments are "devices of the imagination" which tap into our intuitive ability to play out "make-believes" in our minds.
Puppies, Procrastination, and Possibilities
I procrastinated launching this newsletter for over a year. People I respect in the publishing world kept urging me to do it because book readers like to hear from authors between books. Newsletters allow for a more intimate author/reader relationship, they explained. Especially given the work I do on diversity, inclusion, racism, and unconscious biases, it was important to speak in and about today's times. The work of being a teacher, author, and scholar is no longer solely about classrooms, books, and journal articles.
No Justice, No Joy?
My mother has long observed that I "think too much." A friend once said that I can suck the joy out of any experience. My husband occasionally recalls "vacation Dolly" like she was a carefree stranger we once met far from home. None of them are wrong. No doubt, I am also a friendly, positive person who loves to laugh. It's just that my default mode is intensity. I've always been like this, since I was this kid with the rockin' hairdo who asked for file cabinets in school colors for her 12th birthday (still have them).
Meet Cocoa Bean, Our New Puppy!
In this month's newsletter, I offer a simple, powerful tool for staying engaged in the tough issues and hard work related to being good-ish, even (especially!) when we feel overwhelmed. The tool I am sharing is a widely-used productivity method called the Pomodoro Method. I want to convince you that science shows that it is as effective as a puppy in lowering your blood pressure and more effective than a puppy at actually getting things done (note: I made up this puppy vs pomo study finding, but someone should prove me wrong).
I May Be Anti-Racist But I'm Still an Ableist
Many years ago, I began the hard work of confronting my own racism and sexism. That means fighting my natural responses of defensiveness, inaction, and shame what I call the D-I-S Spiral that come with a fixed mindset. I'd almost forgotten how difficult it is to begin the work of shifting to a growth mindset. Then, this summer, I re-discovered that fixed mindset. Why? I discovered I'm an ableist.
15 Tips for More Inclusive Virtual Meetings
Whether you are running the meeting or just participating in it, there are ways to make it better and more inclusive. And, believe it or not, in some ways, that's easier to do on virtual platforms. So, while many of us are stuck on our screens, let's make the most of it and use some of the unique features offered by virtual platforms for better inclusion.
5 Ways You Can Respond When People Post Racist Stuff
The internet is a dumpster fire. Forget about the bots, I'm talking about real people people you work with, live near, went to school with, or are friends-of-friends with. Those people sometimes say awful things, ranging from unintentional to galling to hateful, what I call "UGH" comments. Whether you are hooked on social media, invested in election news, or working in a virtual world, these internet dumpster fires and their UGH sparks create toxic fumes you can not avoid. And if you are a member of a group prone to be targeted, dehumanized, or belittled on the internet such as black people the UGH sparks leave burns.
The 10% More Rule
Like you, I want to do the work for racial justice. Yet, I confess, doing the work sometimes feels like a lot (even though I study and teach others about race and bias!). How do we stick with it? To help us stick with it, I propose The 10% More Rule to guide us as we exit the frenetic month of June. Research on goal-setting emphasizes the importance of goals which are both challenging and attainable. I like 10% as a goal.